Elizabeth Taylor’s vintage advertisement.
Edward Cullen: So, do you want to hear more about how I became a vampire?
Nicki Minaj: Oh yeah, tell me again about Spanish influenza, because that is just so fascinating and shit! (God, this guy is so fucking boring!)
Edward Cullen: Oh ok, I’m sorry for boring you.
Nicki Minaj: Why do we always come out here anyway? Isn’t there anywhere to hang out in this town? Don’t you got any clubs?
Edward Cullen: I’m afraid not, there’s not much to do in Forks. And you’d probably enjoy hiking more if you wore something more appropriate.
Nicki Minaj: Oh hell no, you didn’t just insult my outfit!
Edward Cullen: Well, it’s a fine dress for a party, but not suitable for hiking.
Nicki Minaj: Then why don’t we chill over at your place? Listen to some music, get to know each other, and you know… I mean, you got a nice house but you always wanna come out here and squat on the ground and climb trees like a damn squirrel.
Edward Cullen: I’m sorry, I thought I was being romantic.
Nicki Minaj: Every time you run with me on your back I swallow like 20 mosquitoes. That is not romantic, ok? That shit is nasty. If we’re gonna be together you need to take me on a real date.
Edward Cullen: You’re the first girl I’ve dated in 100 years.
Nicki Minaj: Aww, that’s so sweet baby… Ok, I’m sorry I was being rude. I stepped in some deer shit and ruined my new Louboutins, I guess I’m just having a bad day.
- Jessica Fletcher is home once a month in Cabot Cove, but her house is always perfectly kept and never gets broken into.
- Jessica has 18718072817227 nieces/nephews/cousins scattered all over the globe to allow for convenient vacations/episode plots.
- Jessica also has an identical twin sister…
